Wisdom

Since early in my teaching career, I’ve been collecting articles and an occasional speech on education and schools that I found interesting or compelling. I kept them in a file in my desk and would refer to the file every so often. As the years passed, one file became two and two became three. At this point, I think I have six or seven files. I reviewed my files a couple of weeks ago, specifically looking for an article on middle school math that I found in another school’s Alumni Bulletin over 20 years ago. I guess it should come as no surprise that I couldn’t find the article. What I did find, though, was an article from 1982 where a Head of School shared his thoughts with the Parents’ Association as he prepared to leave one school to take on the headship of another school. It is an article that resonated when I first read it 34 years ago and still resonates with me now.

 

“Schools must be dispensers of knowledge, sure; nobody would deny that. But what they must also dispense, in even greater abundance, is wisdom, and that’s a much taller order.”

The Head of School went on to explain that wisdom involves thinking and listening, it involves sifting through issues and learning from one’s experience. He concluded his message by talking about the wisdom he had gained from being a part of the school.

 

 

And now, in this, my last blog, I’d like to take a page from the example set by this other Head of School 34 years ago and share some of what I have learned from my time working in schools.

 

• Education and learning is a process. Growth in children, adolescents and young adults isn’t linear or sequential. There is no particular place where it starts or stops. It is about moving forward, taking on new challenges, taking inventory and then moving forward again. Interestingly, all seem to arrive at the same place—adulthood.
• Schools and parents need to commit to the development of the whole child/person—the intellectual, social, emotional and physical growth. Focusing too much on one part of a child’s development at the expense of the other parts undermines a child’s development and compromises helping a child become the person they are meant to be.
• The best teachers come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. Often they are in the formal role of teacher, advisor or coach, but sometimes they are not. Age is not a determiner or predictor of great teaching—I have learned countless lessons from the students in my classes, those I have advised and those I have coached.
• Modeling matters, caring matters and people matter. Students learn by observation and example. The older I get the more convinced I am that students become who they are, in large part, by whom they see and observe, and what they see and observe. The best schools are places where students are cared for and the adults—faculty, staff and parents—are cared for as well.
• The best schools have people at the center—not program or facilities.
• Finally, as I have often quoted, success in schools and parenting is bound to follow if we remember, “It begins and ends with the students and children in mind.”

Wisdom is, in fact, critical to schools and, more importantly, to a well-lived life. With each year I have spent in schools, I have become more convinced that wisdom can be gained from thinking and listening, from sifting through issues and learning from one’s experience.

As North Shore students—and faculty/staff and parents—head into summer mode and with it, hopefully, a shift of gears and change of pace, it is my wish that thinking, listening, dreaming and examining are a part of each person’s day. For as I leave my role as Head of School and shift gears to other pursuits, I know I have much to learn and much wisdom to gain.

 

Thank you.

 

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

A Visitor’s Perspective of NSCDS

“This is the school that every school should be. I know that it is unrealistic, but it is nice to know that it exists.”

The comment above was made by an applicant for an Upper School teaching position. He was here recently; taught a class, met students and teachers, and saw us “up close and personal.” Meeting with me was the final stop on his schedule. While one might be skeptical that someone interested in being hired was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, I didn’t take it that way. He struck me as a very thoughtful and measured person—one who took great pride in being a teacher, a person very at home in schools.

Later, I thought about his comment and, while very pleased, found myself wondering a bit about what he really meant. The rest of the interview focused on who he was as an educator and a person—his experience, his strengths and weaknesses, how he might make his mark on North Shore. His answers were good ones; he listened, processed and then responded. But as I thought about his first comment, I second-guessed myself for not digging deeper. What was it that made us “the school that every school should be?”

I can’t help but speculate. Was he energized by our commitment to educating the whole child, and our commitment to the Arts? Perhaps he really liked our spaces, and the size and scale of our small classes. He mentioned being intrigued by our JK-to-12ness and our sense of community. As we all know, programmatically, we are an ambitious place; we have a lot to offer and a lot going on. My sense is that as the day progressed he got the sense of our “big program” and was impressed.

Again, I am speculating, but I would bet that it was our people who stood out—our students, faculty and parents he encountered who were the difference-makers. It’s not just who our people are—talented, curious, fun, smart, diverse and friendly—but how our people connect with one another. At the heart of any school are student-to-student, student-to-teacher and student-to-parent-to-teacher connections. But at North Shore, it’s the way they interact, the way they connect—their spirit, openness and energy—that characterizes us.

Prior to my becoming a Head of School, I worked in admissions and I was often asked by prospective parents what they should look for prior to my taking them on a tour. My reply was they shouldn’t focus on looking to see, but looking to “feel”—the feeling of a place is often most critical.

Our hiring process isn’t complete; we have other candidates for the position to interview and consider. Will we make an offer to this candidate? To be determined. But, I can assure you that the person we do hire will bring a commitment to making North Shore, “the school that every school should be,” even better.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

“No Hill Too High for a Climber”

When I heard the phrase “No hill too high for a climber” three or four years ago, it resonated. Not that I am a mountain climber, but because I thought it was a very appropriate metaphor for the type of energy and attitude we seek to develop in our students. Yes, we want to develop lifelong learners, individuals with highly-developed academic skills—readers, writers, scientists, mathematicians and artists—but just as importantly, we want our students to be “doers,” to believe in themselves and demonstrate a determination and resilience that empowers them to make a difference—for themselves and others.

Moving forward, willingly taking on challenges, trying, trying and trying again, all describe those students, or people, we hope emerge from their North Shore experience. For we all know that determination, resilience and resourcefulness enable individuals to live fulfilling and meaningful lives.

I am a great believer in the power of modeling; the impact that role models—whether they be parents, teachers, coaches or older students—have in shaping the development of our students. Jim Lumberg, father of Hannah ’15 and Sarah ’17, husband of Traci and our current Board Chair, left town on March 26 to begin a two-month expedition to climb Mt. Everest. Jim is the latest in a number of outstanding Chairs I have been extremely fortunate to partner with—people who have taught me, challenged me, encouraged me to be my best and who led in ways that have contributed significantly to the School.

His trek is one more way he is making a difference for me and for North Shore. There couldn’t be a better example of “no hill too high for a climber.” Jim is leading by example by taking on the world’s highest peak—pushing himself to extremes both physically and emotionally. If we want to develop “climbers,” we need models like Jim to help us understand and believe in the importance of practicing physical and emotional challenges.

Thanks Jim, for inspiring all of us at North Shore, for being a role model, helping us develop “climbers” and developing an understanding that we need to believe in and push ourselves.

Follow Jim’s expedition to Mt. Everest on his blog at jameslumberg.com.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

It happens very quickly.

With the benefit of modern technology—FaceTime—my wife and I checked in on our two granddaughters last night. Georgia, two-and-a-half, and Stella, seven months. Things were quite busy. Georgia was in search of her two dolls, Amber and James, to show us (they were never found) and in response to my telling her that she was a “true sport,” wanted me to explain what a “true sport” meant. I tried with limited success. Stella was busy smiling and having dinner—rice cereal, sweet potatoes, carrots and mushed ham. (Some of the food actually got in her mouth.)

When we finished our call, I was struck by how much they are absorbing and growing every day—how quickly they are growing up.

This morning, I was in my office early and at about 7:15 said hello to a current junior girl and her parents. They were here to meet with Kristen Kaczynski and Lizzy Giffen, our College Counselors. I have known this girl and family for awhile. In fact, I remember meeting them at an Admissions Open House in the fall of 2008 prior to the year she enrolled at North Shore as a 5th grader in the fall of 2009. I have watched her, her siblings and her classmates grow and evolve over the years and have taken delight from a bit of a distance as she, like her classmates, has grown and contributed. While I know she is a junior and see her in action every day, the reality that she is ready for the college process caused me to pause.

Granddaughters growing so, so quickly and becoming who they are, and a junior girl growing so, so quickly on a similar but different track. The lesson? Enjoy the way, honor the process and take it all in. We all grow up far more quickly than we think.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

It’s the People

Working in schools is (has been) a very satisfying career. There are a range of reasons that make it satisfying. The single biggest reason became clear to me when I attended an Alumni Event on Monday evening in New York City. That night, I had separate conversations with at least 10 different alums all of whom talked about their North Shore experience and referenced individual teachers and coaches who had made a difference in their lives. “Do you remember so-in-so? Where are they now? I think of him/her often. I’m still in touch with him/her”—were the phrases that I seemed to hear again and again.

Interestingly, there were four former teachers who were also in attendance. In my conversations with them they, too, talked about individuals who had made a difference in their lives—former students who they think of often, some of whom they remain in touch with today.

In my remarks to the group, I updated the alumni and former faculty on our Strategic Plan initiatives, changes on campus that have taken place in recent years, our excitement to welcome Tom Flemma as our new Head of School this summer and how we are beginning to prepare for our Centennial that will take place during the 2019/20 school year. Our guests were polite and interested, asked a few questions and, when I finished, they immediately went back to what is, was, and continues to be, really important to them—people.

My time in New York reminded me what I already know—it is the people in our lives that make a difference. How fortunate we are at North Shore to have such people in abundance, along with a culture that perpetuates the desire for young and old to appreciate each other.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

Firouz

Yesterday’s Morning Ex was a preview of the Holiday Concert featuring Lower, Middle and Upper Schools performing selections from this evening’s full concert program. The song selection and the singing were at a very high level. Hearing our students perform and getting a sense of the progression and growth that occurs from Lower to Middle to Upper School was very compelling.

Following the Upper School’s performance, Middle and Upper School Chorus Director Michael Querio called the Lower and Middle School choruses back for the finale. As students made their way on stage, a member of the Upper School chorus, 11th grader Firouz Niazi, walked to the front of the stage and waited patiently for the entire group to assemble. Firouz was poised and comfortable, and his presence alerted the audience he would have a special role, perhaps a solo. Mr. Querio introduced the song I Sing Out, and encouraged the audience to listen—really listen—to the words, pointing out that the lyrics are a metaphor for the power of each individual’s own voice. Then, in a very light-hearted way, he said the song featured a solo from “Firouz, who we all know, have been waiting for and can’t live without.” Everyone laughed, Firouz smiled modestly and the stage became quiet.

As the music started, all on stage seemed eager and focused, and then Firouz sang—he was remarkable. After completing his part, he took his place with the other members of the Upper School chorus. The song, the sound, the energy and the spirit were all touching.

Interestingly, yesterday morning wasn’t the first time I have heard Firouz sing a solo. In fact, as he sang so beautifully, I couldn’t help but remember sitting in on one of Michael Querio’s Middle School chorus classes four of five years ago. As the class ended, Michael reminded those who wanted to audition for solo parts in an upcoming concert to stay after class. Four or five students stayed; one was Firouz.

I remember marveling at the mix of eagerness, hesitancy and confidence displayed by those Middle School students. Each one stood by the piano all alone. Mr. Querio played as they all sang with great earnestness. Some were good, some OK. Mr. Querio guided and encouraged each one, and then thanked all who tried out. As the students left, he asked Firouz to stay. I then witnessed a conversation I still remember.

It went something like this: “Firouz, thanks for trying, you’re getting better. Your voice is changing, though, so it will be a while before you are ready for a solo. Don’t be discouraged, keep working.”

Firouz’s face fell and his response was something like, “Are you sure? I really wanted a solo part. Yeah, I know you are right, though. I had a hard time with the high part. Hopefully, next time.”

I know there have been many “next times” for Firouz—and for all our students. As many know, one of the things I value about schools and, more specifically, North Shore is how well we do “next times.” We do them often, we make them count, we provide multiple chances and we guide our students to aspire to reach new levels, to believe in themselves, to keep trying, to learn to excel and to give their very best.

Firouz’s very best yesterday morning was awfully good. I was truly moved.

Credit goes to “next times,” to teachers like Mr. Querio, to our students, and most of all—Firouz.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

You Have More to Give than You Think

My daughter Mullery, a 5th grade teacher and coach at an independent school in Boston, a Middlebury College graduate and North Shore graduate class of 2006, sent me a link last week to a Middlebury Athletic Hall of Fame ceremony. One of the honorees is a parent at Mullery’s school whom she really admires – a mother of three, facing some very serious health challenges.

I found the woman’s remarks at the induction ceremony inspiring.

After being acknowledged by her coach for her athletic prowess and, more importantly, for her spirit, leadership and commitment, this mother took the podium and thanked the college – and, more specifically, her former teammates, her family and her coach – for the support she received. She was very modest and genuine and clearly grateful to be honored.

During her remarks, the woman emphasized the role her coach played in her development – not just as a lacrosse player but also as a person. She referred, a couple times, to what was apparently a very consistent message the coach imparted, “You have more to give than you think.”

These words resonated with me in many ways, especially with the upcoming Thanksgiving week. I think all of us associated with North Shore have a great deal to be thankful for, including our teachers/mentors/coaches – parents, grandparents and friends – who believe in us, and, in many ways, instill the belief in “You have more to give than you think.”

“More to give” can mean many things, and it is in each of our personal journeys that we will discover what and where we can give.

As we approach Thanksgiving, I am very grateful to the many people who have believed in me and instilled this same strong message that I, in fact, have more to give than I think.

Managing our relationships with our children and our students takes commitment, awareness, instinct and insight. And to the extent that we, like the Middlebury coach, can convince our children and students they have more to give than they think, we will have made a very meaningful impact on their lives – and possibly the lives of others.

For that, we can all give thanks.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

Homecoming and Community

Last weekend, we celebrated Homecoming. While Homecoming is about reconnection, Raider spirit, purple and white, bonfires and reunions, it’s also very much about community. Despite the fact that many of our current students remind us that we talk too much of community and, at times, it gets a bit tiresome — the reality is that community is the heart and soul of North Shore and impacts all that we do.

Last Sunday morning, following the Homecoming festivities, I received an email from a new colleague with a photo of his two senior kindergarten twins sitting on the laps of their senior buddies at the Pep Rally in the Mac Gym. The kindergarten students were dressed in purple and white, they were beaming, obviously very, very comfortable with their “big friends” — their senior buddies.

While these two kindergarteners have only been North Shore Raiders for just over a month, it was clear North Shore is THEIR school.

Interestingly, I received the email the morning after I attended a gathering for North Shore Raiders at the other end of the age spectrum. On Saturday night, 70 members of classes that ranged from 1937 to 1960 enjoyed one another’s company and their reconnection with the School. My dinner partners were not senior kindergarteners; instead the women seated on my right and left had a combined age of 186. Both were there because they, too, are Raiders and North Shore is THEIR school and they care about it deeply.

As I’ve processed the weekend, I’ve been struck by the strength and substance of our community, and by the large number and wide range of people – countless, really – who make us who we are.

North Shore is a place where all ages count and contribute. To be convinced, all you have to do is ask our youngest, our oldest or our in-between students and alumni.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

What a Neat Kid

Typically when I leave my office, which fortunately is quite often, I have a specific task in mind whether it’s to touch base with a colleague, follow up on a conversation or attend a meeting. Beyond accomplishing the task, my wanderings provide me with very real and, I think, meaningful perspectives on how we are doing as a school. I get a chance to observe the interaction between students and teachers, see how students are engaging in their day – whether in a class or moving through the halls – and get a sense of my colleagues – their energy and focus.

I also have a number of unscheduled conversations with my colleagues whether it’s a quick “Hi, how are you?” or something more substantial, possibly a follow up on a previous conversation or my making an inquiry about a specific issue or topic.

It is no surprise that the start of the school year leads to many colleague conversations that start with my asking, “How is your class?” or “How are your classes going?” Thankfully, we are off to a good start and, without exception, the responses I have received have been enthusiastic and very positive. Interestingly, I find myself making note of a number of these conversations so I can follow up. I am convinced these moments have real value — enable me to connect with people, gain insight and work to leverage our collective commitment to our students in productive ways.

A conversation I had on Monday has stuck with me. In response to my inquiry about how her classes were going, an Upper School teacher immediately mentioned individual students in her classes, how well they were doing and how much she was enjoying them. Then, she named a senior, commenting “What a neat kid and really able. I am excited to work with him this year, I think he is really positioned to excel.”

This conversation stayed with me because the feedback I would have gotten from teachers who taught this student four years ago when he was in 9th grade would have been quite different. In 9th grade, this student was “young,” an “adolescent” who not only struggled getting his act together as a student – finding his backpack, getting to places on time, staying focused – but also as a person – being attentive, respectful, and understanding how to build and navigate trusting relationships with adults. As I have observed him over the years, I’ve been aware he has grown, become more focused and more aware. In fact, he has become a real contributor and is well positioned for a positive senior year.

I have talked and written often about the power of education and North Shore. As I think about this student and so many others – young and old – it occurs to me I may have focused too much on the power of education and North Shore. My new view includes the “power of young people” as an important element of successful school outcomes.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.

Thank You North Shore

Earlier this week, faculty, staff, trustees and friends gathered to salute Pam Whalley and Emily Denesha on their retirements from North Shore after 23 years and 29 years, respectively. It was a fitting tribute to both Pam and Emily. A wonderful cross section of the School community came to acknowledge their very meaningful contributions. The energy, spirit and sense of warmth were felt by all in attendance. We had a short program to formally wish Pam and Emily well and to offer our very genuine thanks.

As the sequence of the remarks played out, Pam was the last to speak. Pam made it clear she hadn’t been looking forward to the point in the evening when she would give her remarks. As we all know, Pam is much more comfortable when the spotlight is on her students and not on herself. After thanking a number of people, she thanked North Shore. “One of the things I love about North Shore is that the School instills a curiosity in children that is carried on long after they leave. North Shore helps students find their passion and follow it.” She commented that she has seen generations of North Shore students become empowered and leave North Shore with the confidence to take on whatever they can imagine. As an example, Pam acknowledged neither her son Ned ’04, a journalist currently living and working in Beirut, nor Nick ’02, a business consultant currently on assignment in London, were able to be there on Tuesday night. Their incredibly poignant email softened Pam’s disappointment, as did the fact that they were doing what North Shore had taught them – following their dreams and their passions.

Thank you Pam, thank you Emily and thank you all North Shore teachers, for all you have done for our School and for our students – igniting their curiosity, inspiring their creative problem-solving and encouraging them to pursue their dreams.

North Shore Country Day School is a private, college-prep school for high school, middle school and elementary school students in Winnetka, IL, a suburb of Chicago.